Why Must We Complicate Things?

Isn't it funny how with your true friends and even your family at times you can go weeks even months without seeing or talking with them, but the first time you're together it's as if you just saw them yesterday? That's how it is for me with those that I really connect with. When you are truly in tune with someone else their wants, needs, and even their dreams for their life it's easy to just pick up where you left off. Even though friendships and relationships of any nature are delicate and do require work they should not be brain surgery either. You should not have to put more work into it then what you are receiving out of it.

Know that in relationships of any kind that you can only be held responsible for your own actions and decisions. You can not make someone be or do something that they are not ready or willing to do. All you can do is continue to walk in honesty and pray they do the same. Look at their actions and not just the words that they speak. A lot of times people will speak things that will give the appearance of the way the desire for the relationship/friendship to be going. However, their actions can prove to be very different. Always be aware not only of the things they are doing, but take it a step further and pay attention to the things they are NOT doing. This can prove to be both positive and negative in ways.

I don't believe it was intended to be that hard. I think as human beings that carry our own junk around we complicate a lot of things that God intended to be very simple. We are constantly saying to ourselves, "THIS IS TOO EASY SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG!" I know you have caught yourself saying that and if you haven't said it yet, just wait you will. When things go well and smoothly that's when we doubt it. We act as though it can't be from heaven if there was no hell to go through to get there. Am I saying that all your relationships will be easy as pie? NO! I think that we do learn a lot and you will grow and mature by going through the circumstances of life. What I am saying there are enough challenges and struggles that God has already planned for you that you don't have to add to them by making the journey more complicated than it has to be.

Season vs. Forever

Sometimes people are only meant to be in our lives for a season. They may be some of the best people we have ever met and we want them to be there forever, but something happens and they are no longer apart of our lives. It hurts and a lot of the time we don't understand why they are no longer there, but God knows. Some people are meant to be in our lives to help, guide, motivate, or even establish us in one way or another. This is a concept that is usually hard for us as women to grasp, because by nature we are the nurturing type. We want to nurture our relationships so that they blossom and we want to hold to those relationships forever. Even the ones that are not going well we continue to hold on because we hope it will get better.

It is the reason why it seems harder for the mother to let go of her children than it is the father. I think that it is just a difference in how the genders were created. We have a harder time understand the concept of event and season vs. forever. Sometimes we meet that person where there is an instant connection and they are there to help us through a specific event (ex Graduation, Birth of a Child, Break-ups, etc.) and once that event is over they are gone.

Other times there are people that are there to help us through a season of our lives. They are those people like a teacher that takes special interest in you and helps to guide you through your High School/College years. Or they person that shows up to motivate and mentor you through starting the business that you've always dreamed of having. The people that are in our life for a season are the hardest to understand and to cope with once they are gone. Because when someone is in your life for a season they are there long enough for you to become emotionally and spiritually attached to them.

However, we must learn from the lessons that they are there to teach us. Even in the difficult time and through tough situations there are lessons to be learned. This is something that you must grasp in order to move forward in this life. You must remember just like Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter this too shall past. So remember God wants only the best for you in this life and for that reason he sends you people to join your circle. When some of those people move on don't get upset just know you are one step closer to accomplishing what you are suppose to in this life.

Adults in the Room

Hope everyone enjoyed their Memorial Day weekend. I went to a cookout and it gave me the basis of today’s topic. Listening to those who have come before you and learning from their life experiences. I have always been one who enjoyed listening to women that are older than me and receiving their wisdom on life. The ladies that I met are all success business women and taught me that I can accomplish all my dreams. The encouraged me in the area of relationships as well as business. They were there to give me feedback on things that I am going through at this point in my life. And for that I will always be appreciative.

So as young women I want to encourage you to take the time to listen. It is easy to think that you know everything and that you do not need to listen to the adults in your life. You’re wrong. Every person can teach you things in this life. Whether it is to show you what to do or what NOT to do in your career or in the life that you want to lead. So the next time you have an opportunity to learn from the adults in your life take it. You never know what gem of knowledge that you will receive that will help to propel you to the next level in your life. Our environment including the people in our lives help to mold us into the people we become. Why not be proactive in the information that we receive? Take this to heart and just try it and see what you can learn from others experiences. It will be worth the time you take.

Comment Response

I thank you for your comments the past two days in regards to my postings. I would just like to speak to the comment about the whole video being a hoax. I am not here to argue the validity of the video at all. Because the reality of it all is that there are people out there doing this exact thing. They are preying on our young women and they need to warned and helped to see their self worth. That is my goal in this entire situation. If his goal is to promote his own website then I hope that my and everyone's attention to this will serve as a warning to him. To let him and any other person who is actually committing this sort of heinous act towards our community will not be tolerated. We will stand up and protect our girls.

If only one girl begins to understand her self worth then it makes even his disgusting video worth it. Because little did he know that when he made that video that I and others like me would see and that he would set into motion a series of events that would change this world. Like I said in my other post what the devil meant for bad God is using for his good. Hopefully this will cause a young woman to be more cautious in the company she keeps or to wait longer before becoming sexual intimate. That is my only desire from exposing this video whether true or fake. However, I do thank you for commenting because that is a hidden agenda that the man who made that video had that a lot of people wouldn't have known about without your comment.

This will go to show our young women that everything is not as it seems all the time. You must listen to the voice inside you that tells you when a situation is not right. And also God will send people along in your life to warn you of things. So do not always look at things from a defensive eye. Trust your inner self for that is your spirit and that is where God speaks to you. So to you I thank you for your comment because it sparked yet continued discussion and that's what it's all about. It is about beginning a dialogue.

You are Beautiful!

After yesterday's post I thought it would only be appropriate to discuss one of the issues that acts as the basis of why our young women fall victim to men like the Trash Man. It has to do with Body Image. This topic has been seen on The Tyra Banks Show a lot lately, and is the topic of songs, books, and many discussions. Young women are struggling to find happiness in their own skin. Either she views herself as too skinny or not skinny enough, has no curves or too many. If she has a dark complexion she feels inadequate and for those who are light they are tired of justifying their blackness.

Somewhere in this journey of life we have allowed the devil to come in and tell our young women they are not good enough. We need to work double time to correct this disaster taking place in our community. Because if we don't step up and teach them their Godly self worth. In Pastor Paula White's book entitled Daily Treasures she reminds all people; "You are exactly what God wanted you to be from head to toe. You are the "right" gender, race, personality, body, shape, and height to accomplish the dream that He has for you. You are already equipped with all you will ever need." So stop it with the self esteem cover up. You know where you act like you're all that and that by dressing in the least amount of clothes possible is bring you the attention that makes you feel beautiful. Trust me I am not fooled, been there and done that. The type of people you are likely to attract will be those with hidden agendas men like the Trash Man.

It's my desire that every young women regardless of her race or body type knows that you are beautiful and that God loves you and so do I! Walk with you head up high be good to those around and most importantly be good to yourself. You are everything you were meant to be and when you invest in yourself it only gets better with time.

Beware of the Trash Man (Man with AIDS infecting teen girls)

THIS TAPE IS EXPICIT AND CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE AND DESCRIBES SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS.

Despite the graphic nature of this video it is VERY important that we use this man's ignorance as a learning tool to save the lives of our girls that he has not yet reached. This man has allegedly infected over 15,000 girls with the HIV/AIDS virus, some by his own account as young as 16. In this video he names names and discusses how he met them and how easy the conquest was. I am just going to take his words as true, I hope that they are not, but in today's world you never can tell. This is a warning it should be used as a NATIONAL ALERT to all our teen girls and the people that love them. Like the old saying goes, everything that glitters ain't gold. You will see for yourself that he talks about the fact that he drives a Jaguar as being his number one appeal to these girls. Why is it that it is so easy for a man like this to get to our girls?

Well there are several reasons everything from self esteem issues to lack of male figure in their lives and so on and so on. But that is not where I want to focus tonight. I want to focus on one thing and that is my desire for every young woman to know their self worth. You are fearfully and wonderfully made as written in Psalms 139:14. You are a precious jewel in the sight of God. God is the Almighty so if he is pleased with you, you must learn to know that you special. This is why abstinence is always the best policy until marriage. But am I naïve? NO I'M NOT! So for those who choose not to wait it is so important that you take the time to know the person you are dating and protect yourself! You must take responsibility for your own body and your own life. Don't seek your joy in a man. If you like the car he drives, the diamonds he wears, then go and get it for yourself, go to school and work so that you can buy those things for yourself. Believe me it feels 100x better when you do it for yourself.

You want a man that will respect you and that knows your worth. This is not a game this is your life. You should always be tested and if sex is something that you just can't live without then instead of buying that new shirt go buy some condoms. They sell them to females too; I'm here to keep it real with you. Don't act like only the guy can supply them. You want to be taken seriously by your parents, your friends, and everyone around you then take yourself seriously. You are God's creation and you are beautiful and to be treasured. God wants to help you. Searching for your destiny is a journey that will help to guide you towards the people that you need in your life and it will help to build your confidence that you will heed the warnings when confronted with people like this Trash Man. He couldn't have come up with a better name for himself, because he is nothing but trash and so are those that are out there like him. Know that you deserve better than trash and wait for your King.

Celebrate the Good

Just as you want to be celebrated and appreciated for the things that you do in this life, you need to take the time to celebrate and appreciate the ones that touch yours. Whether it is with a simply, "Thank You" or an "I really appreciate it that you…" Even if you give them a card or a special keepsake that means something to both of you, we must celebrate those around us. And for those of us who are truly givers we must learn how to receive as well as give. It is good to be humble, but we must be careful not to block our blessings by refusing the thank you of others.

So be sure to celebrate those in your life that are having an impact whether great or small. As a society we tend to dwell only on the negative that people do. If we took that same energy and took small steps to celebrate the good, we can change the world. Let someone know you are grateful to them and that they have touched your life in one way or another today! Let's change the world together one thank you at a time.