People Pleasers

The purpose of this blog is to not only help you to discover your destiny, but to also help you not to waste time on unnecessary things while achieving it. What I want to touch on today is the well known topic of people pleasing. Everyone falls into this because you either don't want to upset people or you want to make everyone happy. And even though it may seem like common sense people can't seem to grasp the fact that you will never be able to please everyone. The hardest of these to deal with is the fact that you can't always do what you family wants.

Now don't confuse what I am saying with honoring your mother and father. This is always the rule, however if what your parents or any family member wants you to do is opposite of what you know in your heart God wants you to do then you have to make the tough decision of deciding who you're going to follow. And trust me from experience you can listen to God now or you can listen later, but later comes with a price. If you find yourself in this position then you have to take the time to pray and seek guidance from Him he will show you what to say and do that your parents may understand.

There is one other person that we seem to want to please more than even our parents and this person seems to be the hardest to please of them all. OUR FRIENDS! Or people like to refer to as friends. But how many times have you went to a movie you didn't want to see, or went bowling which you can't stand, or said sure I'll go with you to your boyfriend's house party and you don't even like her boyfriend. All because you wanted to be cool, popular, or supportive in one way or another. When really you would have rather been doing your own thing at your house or out with your own boyfriend. And here's one news flash for those of you that are saying to yourself that this never happens to you, yow always do what you want. Then I challenge you to take a step outside yourself and see if you're the one that is being selfish while your selfless friends try and please you?

If you continue along the path of trying to please everyone else when do you actually get to live your own life? I read a quote once that said "On your tombstone it's not the two dates that are important it's the dash between them." What that means is the date you're born and the date you die are not as important as the life that you live between them. So make the most of your life, enjoy it, seek God in all that you do and He will direct your path. Please God not people.

Let It Go!

I thought this was summarized very well and teaches the point of letting go. Please read and take this into account when dealing with the people of your life.

 

LET IT GO
...  
by T.D.Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you:  let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you,  calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,
staying attached to  you.
I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,
you can't make them stay.
Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,
it just means that their part in the  story is over.
And you've got to know when people's
part in your story is over so that you
don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something
I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift,
I believe in good-bye.

It's not that I'm hateful,  it's that I'm faithful,
and I know whatever God means for me to  have
He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something
that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,
then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains  ...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents ..
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves..
LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed.
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it, then you need to...LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past.
Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for
2008  !!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left. Think about it, and then
LET IT GO!!!

'The Battle is the Lord's!'

Why Must We Complicate Things?

Isn't it funny how with your true friends and even your family at times you can go weeks even months without seeing or talking with them, but the first time you're together it's as if you just saw them yesterday? That's how it is for me with those that I really connect with. When you are truly in tune with someone else their wants, needs, and even their dreams for their life it's easy to just pick up where you left off. Even though friendships and relationships of any nature are delicate and do require work they should not be brain surgery either. You should not have to put more work into it then what you are receiving out of it.

Know that in relationships of any kind that you can only be held responsible for your own actions and decisions. You can not make someone be or do something that they are not ready or willing to do. All you can do is continue to walk in honesty and pray they do the same. Look at their actions and not just the words that they speak. A lot of times people will speak things that will give the appearance of the way the desire for the relationship/friendship to be going. However, their actions can prove to be very different. Always be aware not only of the things they are doing, but take it a step further and pay attention to the things they are NOT doing. This can prove to be both positive and negative in ways.

I don't believe it was intended to be that hard. I think as human beings that carry our own junk around we complicate a lot of things that God intended to be very simple. We are constantly saying to ourselves, "THIS IS TOO EASY SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG!" I know you have caught yourself saying that and if you haven't said it yet, just wait you will. When things go well and smoothly that's when we doubt it. We act as though it can't be from heaven if there was no hell to go through to get there. Am I saying that all your relationships will be easy as pie? NO! I think that we do learn a lot and you will grow and mature by going through the circumstances of life. What I am saying there are enough challenges and struggles that God has already planned for you that you don't have to add to them by making the journey more complicated than it has to be.

Season vs. Forever

Sometimes people are only meant to be in our lives for a season. They may be some of the best people we have ever met and we want them to be there forever, but something happens and they are no longer apart of our lives. It hurts and a lot of the time we don't understand why they are no longer there, but God knows. Some people are meant to be in our lives to help, guide, motivate, or even establish us in one way or another. This is a concept that is usually hard for us as women to grasp, because by nature we are the nurturing type. We want to nurture our relationships so that they blossom and we want to hold to those relationships forever. Even the ones that are not going well we continue to hold on because we hope it will get better.

It is the reason why it seems harder for the mother to let go of her children than it is the father. I think that it is just a difference in how the genders were created. We have a harder time understand the concept of event and season vs. forever. Sometimes we meet that person where there is an instant connection and they are there to help us through a specific event (ex Graduation, Birth of a Child, Break-ups, etc.) and once that event is over they are gone.

Other times there are people that are there to help us through a season of our lives. They are those people like a teacher that takes special interest in you and helps to guide you through your High School/College years. Or they person that shows up to motivate and mentor you through starting the business that you've always dreamed of having. The people that are in our life for a season are the hardest to understand and to cope with once they are gone. Because when someone is in your life for a season they are there long enough for you to become emotionally and spiritually attached to them.

However, we must learn from the lessons that they are there to teach us. Even in the difficult time and through tough situations there are lessons to be learned. This is something that you must grasp in order to move forward in this life. You must remember just like Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter this too shall past. So remember God wants only the best for you in this life and for that reason he sends you people to join your circle. When some of those people move on don't get upset just know you are one step closer to accomplishing what you are suppose to in this life.

Adults in the Room

Hope everyone enjoyed their Memorial Day weekend. I went to a cookout and it gave me the basis of today’s topic. Listening to those who have come before you and learning from their life experiences. I have always been one who enjoyed listening to women that are older than me and receiving their wisdom on life. The ladies that I met are all success business women and taught me that I can accomplish all my dreams. The encouraged me in the area of relationships as well as business. They were there to give me feedback on things that I am going through at this point in my life. And for that I will always be appreciative.

So as young women I want to encourage you to take the time to listen. It is easy to think that you know everything and that you do not need to listen to the adults in your life. You’re wrong. Every person can teach you things in this life. Whether it is to show you what to do or what NOT to do in your career or in the life that you want to lead. So the next time you have an opportunity to learn from the adults in your life take it. You never know what gem of knowledge that you will receive that will help to propel you to the next level in your life. Our environment including the people in our lives help to mold us into the people we become. Why not be proactive in the information that we receive? Take this to heart and just try it and see what you can learn from others experiences. It will be worth the time you take.

Comment Response

I thank you for your comments the past two days in regards to my postings. I would just like to speak to the comment about the whole video being a hoax. I am not here to argue the validity of the video at all. Because the reality of it all is that there are people out there doing this exact thing. They are preying on our young women and they need to warned and helped to see their self worth. That is my goal in this entire situation. If his goal is to promote his own website then I hope that my and everyone's attention to this will serve as a warning to him. To let him and any other person who is actually committing this sort of heinous act towards our community will not be tolerated. We will stand up and protect our girls.

If only one girl begins to understand her self worth then it makes even his disgusting video worth it. Because little did he know that when he made that video that I and others like me would see and that he would set into motion a series of events that would change this world. Like I said in my other post what the devil meant for bad God is using for his good. Hopefully this will cause a young woman to be more cautious in the company she keeps or to wait longer before becoming sexual intimate. That is my only desire from exposing this video whether true or fake. However, I do thank you for commenting because that is a hidden agenda that the man who made that video had that a lot of people wouldn't have known about without your comment.

This will go to show our young women that everything is not as it seems all the time. You must listen to the voice inside you that tells you when a situation is not right. And also God will send people along in your life to warn you of things. So do not always look at things from a defensive eye. Trust your inner self for that is your spirit and that is where God speaks to you. So to you I thank you for your comment because it sparked yet continued discussion and that's what it's all about. It is about beginning a dialogue.

You are Beautiful!

After yesterday's post I thought it would only be appropriate to discuss one of the issues that acts as the basis of why our young women fall victim to men like the Trash Man. It has to do with Body Image. This topic has been seen on The Tyra Banks Show a lot lately, and is the topic of songs, books, and many discussions. Young women are struggling to find happiness in their own skin. Either she views herself as too skinny or not skinny enough, has no curves or too many. If she has a dark complexion she feels inadequate and for those who are light they are tired of justifying their blackness.

Somewhere in this journey of life we have allowed the devil to come in and tell our young women they are not good enough. We need to work double time to correct this disaster taking place in our community. Because if we don't step up and teach them their Godly self worth. In Pastor Paula White's book entitled Daily Treasures she reminds all people; "You are exactly what God wanted you to be from head to toe. You are the "right" gender, race, personality, body, shape, and height to accomplish the dream that He has for you. You are already equipped with all you will ever need." So stop it with the self esteem cover up. You know where you act like you're all that and that by dressing in the least amount of clothes possible is bring you the attention that makes you feel beautiful. Trust me I am not fooled, been there and done that. The type of people you are likely to attract will be those with hidden agendas men like the Trash Man.

It's my desire that every young women regardless of her race or body type knows that you are beautiful and that God loves you and so do I! Walk with you head up high be good to those around and most importantly be good to yourself. You are everything you were meant to be and when you invest in yourself it only gets better with time.